In honor of 12.12.12, this is a short, semi-serious blog post of my top 12 “Welle-isms,” that I continually say even though I’m sure my clients can’t stand it. Before you rush to judgment, please realize that most of these things are said in a joking manner.
I’m as guilty as anyone for taking life too seriously at times. Life is meant to be fun…and sometimes it can be cathartic to poke a little fun at yourself. Enjoy!
1. (strength training with a client)
“Scott, these weights are really heavy.”
I know. Good thing you’re really strong.
This comes when a client has progressed to the point of being able to pump some heavier iron. Even though I’ve heard it from almost every single client I’ve ever trained, never once have I gone back and given them something lighter (and never once have they failed to lift the heavier weight!). 😈
2. It’s not what you do some of the time – it’s what you do most of the time that matters.
Nothing funny about this one…other than it’s often said in response to a drinking or eating binge. But it is the absolute truth and is important for everyone to know. Please don’t get stuck in an all-or-nothing mentality.
3. Get out there and suffer in the elements!
Code for: it doesn’t matter if it’s 95 degrees, sunny and humid – I still want you to swim, bike or run…really far.
4. Hhhhhmmmmmmmmpppppppphhhhhh
This isn’t really a saying…it’s more of an inner caveman grunt-like response indicating disapproval for whatever was just done or said.
5. How do you like me now?
This is for straight smack-talking…akin to the line in Good Will Hunting, “How do you like them apples?” Usually, when I say this, you won’t like me very much at all and you’ll probably want to throw something at me.
Enough said.
7. Feed the machine.
This is what I yap at my clients when I want them to eat more…or when I want to eat more 😆
8. The furnace is running HOT.
This is what happens when you do a bunch of hard workouts and your metabolism is stoked to the max. It’s basically a sense of entitlement or justification that you can eat whatever you want to.
9. Dig in.
Code for: roll up your sleeves, grit your teeth and go to work. To “dig in” means it’s time to make stuff happen. This usually comes at the start of an interval set…so “digging in” typically equates to suffering.
10. Man up. Or Woman up!
Stop complaining and toughen up!
11. “Scott, I’m really nervous about this workout/race.”
Sweet. I’m really nervous for you.
“That’s NOT the answer I was looking for!”
Actually, I always say nervousness is a good thing – it means you care. You don’t get nervous about things which have no meaning.
12. PAIN IS WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY!
I saved the best, and my favorite, for last. I say this all the time but, interestingly enough, it has evolved to: [insert almost any word] is weakness leaving the body. Tired? Hungry? Thirsty? Fatigued? Hungover? It doesn’t matter – it’s ALL weakness leaving the body. 👿
Ok, now that you all see me in a completely different light (and probably think I’m somewhat disturbed), I’m signing off. Any clients reading this, please feel free to post your own favorite Welle-isms below that I may have missed. Just please remember (yes, I’m talking to YOU, Bacon Sellke), this is a family-friendly blog. Keep it clean!
– Scott
