Last week I spoke for a group of State Farm team members and agents just outside of Minneapolis…

One of the team members came up to me afterwards and mentioned that she was struggling to find enough hours in the day and was feeling a pressure to perform.

Then, she said, "But, I'm sure YOU never have that problem."

I responded, "Ummmm...is that really what you think? You have no idea."

One of the greatest benefits to getting a group of like-minded people together who normally don't see each other is the sharing of not only best practices, but also similar struggles (assuming the shared struggles generate solutions).

It is a very common thing, when we're struggling, to feel like no one else is experiencing the same thing.

With 7 billion+ people on the planet, that's just not true.

I readily admit to friends and coaching clients that many of the messages I put out are actually things that I need to hear as well.

It's a big shift I've tried to make in my speaking.

You're probably familiar with the StrengthsFinderAssessment; I've taken it a few times and one of my top strengths is always Command, which means it comes very naturally to me to take charge and act strongly in front of others.

But I was listening to a podcast on my run this morning that was talking about the difference between being an "expert" or an "investigator" on stage...

The more I speak, the more I'm convinced that the audience doesn't necessarily want an expert, telling them what to do. That implies you have it all figured out. You have no problems.

I try to be more of an investigator, encouraging the audience to ask thought-provoking questions about their mindset. Their routines. Their response to pressure and change and adversity. How they lead others.

Too many people "process shame" themselves. They hear about how someone else does things, think they should be able to do it exactly the same way, and when it doesn't happen, they feel badly about themselves.

That's not how we Outperform.

Our biggest breakthroughs come from 1) realizing we're not alone in any / all of our struggles, and 2) asking better questions to arrive at the solutions that work best for YOU.